Hey Mom! Are you a Creep? If not, you should be.

“Mom, you are a creep.”

Years back when one of my girls called me a creep, she was treading on treacherous waters.

“WHAT did you call me??”
“You’re a facebook creep, Mom,” she said with a grin.”
“What on earth is a facebook creep?”
“Someone who reads other people’s facebooks.”
“I know I’m Just-A-Mom, and new to this facebook thing, but I thought the whole purpose of posting was for other people to read them.”
“Only if you’re facebook friends with them and it’s a recent post.”
“Well, sorry ’bout your luck, honey. But I don’t live by everyone else’s rules.”

A picture making its rounds online said “A worried mother has better investigative skills than the FBI.” I’d like to change that to an involved mother. A caring mother. A loving mother. It is our duty as parents to know our children. What they do online and who they spend time with. It amazes me the things kids post online. The language. The suggestive poses. The bullying. I wonder if the parents are aware or if they even care.

Hey Mom! Are you a Creep? If not, you should be. BackToFamily.net

About 8 years ago I was being mentored. Marcia is a few years older than me and also has  daughters. She taught me numerous lessons within those sixteen weeks. Lessons about God and the Bible, but also about life and mothering. In a world where parents don’t want to inhibit their children from what society has to offer, she taught me that being a Christian parent is sometimes like a salmon swimming upstream. We are called to do hard stuff. Make hard decisions. It’s comforting to know someone is in your corner rooting for you who’s been there.

Forbidden Friends

I’ve had to refrain my children from spending time with some of their friends in person and online. In past years we went over friend lists and  blocked some. Influencers of potentially harmful things. I recently heard a speaker sum it up like this:

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

I heard it another way too: How do you expect to soar with eagles when you fly with turkeys? There was a time I was struggling with a decision to put an end to a friendship my daughter had. I wondered if my daughter could have a positive influence on this girl if I allowed the friendship to continue. A friend of mine gave me a great analogy her pastor had told her. It’s great to want to influence someone in a meaningful way. But you have to be careful. Especially for a child. It’s like being on a chair and trying to help someone up. It’s much easier for them to pull you down. (Galatians 6:1)

The Dating Game

When it comes to dating set rules early. At what age? Will you allow dating or courtship? When I hear about a person of interest I check them out. What a person posts online for the world to see tells alot about them. The good and the not-so-good and the really-not-so-good.  I’ve heard of other parents who are intentional when it comes to their child’s dating. The Duggar’s for instance are a prime example. I was watching The Blessed Life with Pastor Robert Morris and he spoke of how he researches the characters of his daughters’ suitors, one way being checking their tithing history. He firmly believes that tithing is honoring God and if a man honors God he will in turn honor his wife. Know who your child is with. Don’t feel bad about your sleuthing. This is our children we’re talking about. And speak up if you don’t agree with something. My big pet peeve is the texting- I’m Here- when picking up a date. No! Get out of your car. Walk to the door. Knock. Walk the girl back to the car. And do the same when bringing her home. Oh, and be sure to say hello to her parents.

Hey Mom! Are you a creep? If not, you should be. BackToFamily.net

Warning Signs

When our daughter was a freshman at a Christian college, an upperclassmen committed suicide. It was an emotional time. Although I didn’t know the family, I felt heartache for the parents. The father was overseas on a mission trip. I read the young man’s facebook. I could tell approximately when some traumatic event must’ve happened to him. His posts transformed from uplifting and typical to hurtful and angry using strong language. His last post was a heartbreaking quote about love lost. Sometimes it’s easier to express deeply felt feelings through an online post rather than conversation.

Online Monitor

Know their passwords. Know their friends. Make sure they know the people on their friends list. Look carefully at the pictures they are posting. Do they show hints of their location? I saw one post of a report card showing the child’s name and full address. They don’t understand the dangers lurking online. It’s our responsibility to invest time monitoring if we are going to allow them on facebook and other social media outlets.

Eleven percent of parents joined Facebook specifically to “spy” on their children, and 55 percent use it to “keep an eye on them,” according to the 2011 Bullguard Internet Security Survey. (USA TODAY)

 

Frozen- A Mom Parody

Hey there friend!

Princess came across this video today and shared it with me.

I loved it! And thought you would too.

If you’re a fan of Frozen, you will certainly enjoy it! 🙂

The Mini-Van of Life

Seriously, I can’t even imagine how moms make it through the mini-van of life without God in the passenger seat!
The Mini-Van of Life~ Back To Family.net

Image Credit: http://www.momsnightoutmovie.com/

 

I mean really. I would be a complete mess. (Bigger than the mess I already am! Oh, yeah.)

Just the other day, I was having “A Moment.” Just like in the movie Mom’s Night Out.

Wouldn’t you know? My dear friend Beth decided at that very moment to send me a text.

She told me how God puts me in her path when she needs me.

What a coincidence!

He put her in my path just when I was having “A Moment.” I tried to text her back. Really! But I couldn’t move my fingers. I was “Stress Paralyzed.” (YES, it is a ‘thing.’)

I sought solace within my gardens. Sitting on the stone walk in front of the girls’ old clubhouse, now a garden shed. I let the floodgates open! Boy did the tears cascade like the great Niagara. I let God have it!

Arms flailing all around like a madwoman, eyes rolling about, shouting and screaming.

I completely pulled a David (My God, why have you forsaken me??) AND a Job (I have no peace, no quietness; no rest, only turmoil.)

Where are you God?

The Mini-Van of Life~ Back To Family.net  In the olden days, having “A Moment” meant digging into my secret stash of chocolate chips hidden in a baking powder can. And then hiding out in the bathroom. The girls were younger then, I didn’t want to venture off too far, you know.

As the girls grew, I began leaving the house and heading to the gardens. Many a day you could find me lying among the green bean rows looking up at the sky searching for peace.

As my faith grew, my boldness also grew. You could hear me yelling at God.

Reminding Him of His promises to me and my obedience to Him. Sounds pretty arrogant of me, huh? Ya think God would be might angry at the nerve of me.

Nope. Not at all. He loves me.

He loves when I go to Him. Even when I’m giving him a piece of my mind! He just wants me. He wants a relationship. And with all relationships, you get angry at each other once in a while. He’s a big God and He can handle my ranting and raving. And even through my tantrums, He is listening. And He is at work.

I firmly believe He especially listens to intercessory prayer. You know, when we pray for each other.

See, after my Moment, releasing all my bottled up fears, the second-guessing of my past decisions, not knowing what the future holds, and facing an empty nest, my stress paralyzation began to subside. I texted Beth back. Apologized for the delay as I was having a Moment and then thanked her for the free therapy!

Again that night as the past several nights had found me, I was awake for several hours. Talking to God in the stillness of the dark. Pleading for guidance. Pleading for Him to show up big time.

And show up He did!

The next day blew my mind. My day was filled with laughter and joy. Answers to unresolved decisions began to appear more clearly. Peace overflowed. My cup runneth over.

Dear friend. Listen to me. God wants this for your life as well! He wants a relationship with you. He doesn’t want you perfect and having it all together. He wants you just the way you are. Right now. Always ask God to ride alongside you, in the mini-van of life. Talk to Him. Yell if you have to.

He will answer. Through His word. Through His children.

Even through a text message.

Miscarriage: What You Said vs. What I Heard

Words are powerful.

I am sad to say that my words have hurt people I love.

You can (and should) ask for forgiveness when your words hurt.

Yet once these hurtful words leave our lips, they can never be taken back. Never erased from memory.

Misacrriage: WHAT YOU SAID vs WHAT I HEARD BackToFamily.net

Intentionally spoken words and unintentional painful words. How many times have I tried to comfort someone in need by saying something less than helpful because I wanted to “make it all better” for them. I long to help carry their burden. I learned over time and am still learning that I can’t fix everything. We live in a broken, fallen world.

Grief is a necessary step in the healing process. What I can do however, is to lend a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, and whisper an intercessory prayer.

The list of “good-intentioned” remarks here is not to condemn anyone. It is a reminder to myself to stop and examine what I am about to say to someone hurting.

How will it be interpreted through the lens of grief? Grief can twist words around so much so that their meaning has changed drastically from what you intended. Sometimes, most of the time probably, a simple ‘I am sorry for your loss‘ combined with a comforting {{hug}} will be enough to let them know they are not alone.

If you have experienced the same kind of grief that your friend is now going through, perhaps you might share your experience with them. Truly, those were the people who helped me the most when I suffered through two consecutive miscarriages.

Here are some of the well-intended/grief-twisted words that were spoken to me:
Continue reading~ Miscarriage: What You Said vs. What I Heard »